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Whether it’s Lena Dunham stripping on HBO, students debating whether hookups are sexist or feminist in college newspapers, or magazine writers coming up with trend pieces about society’s moral decline, we are making a topic that was conversationally taboo a few decades ago central to our concerns about the moral decline of the nation. Since the launch of Tinder back in 2012, and with people bored of long drawn out profiles and endless messaging back and forth on traditional dating sites, there is no denying that dating apps are now the go-to method if you want to meet someone online these days.That’s the kind of intro you find in most stories about college sex life — and those stories are everywhere.Feature stories in magazines, multipage spreads in newspapers and posts on feminist blogs would have you believe that, first, only white, straight, Ivy League girls are getting laid because they’re the only ones ever quoted in these articles, and second, these girls have replaced relationships with casual sex … I’m straight, white and female and have just graduated from an Ivy League school, so these trend pieces are supposedly about me. After a year of reading them, I am exhausted by the media’s obsession with the “hookup culture.” Why, besides the obvious reasons, is this topic so irresistible?
But the hookup culture is far from standard practice.
, Tinder is the harbinger of today's hookup-fueled "dating apocalypse." But the truth of the matter is, hooking up isn't anything new (and may in fact be hardwired into our genetics).
And as for Tinder, sure, it can be used for swiftly finding a one-night stand, but there are If your life is too busy to squeeze in the time-consuming intricacies of a longer-term relationship, or you're just looking for a little low-stakes fun tonight, you need a quick, surefire way to find a quality fling.
I know a number of very successful women — women who are now students at top med schools, analysts at the State Department or Rhodes scholars — who found the time while at Yale to maintain serious relationships with equally as busy boys (or girls).
I know many other women who left Yale wishing they had had a relationship in college.